My heart is like a loudspeaker

"Sometimes all it takes is one voice".

Sometimes when my lecturers or supervisor scolded me,

I feel de-motivated.

But, I tried the best to control my fears,

and improve whats' left of me.

I learn to pick myself up,

when there's no one around.

Continue what I've started,

and keep smiling at them.

I tried hard to show them that I'm good enough.

And I'm capable enough to be a great doctor.

Cause nothing is worst than 'giving-up'.

Especially when the success that you dream of is just a feet away.

sick and alone

i'm not well today. having fever, abdominal pain, vomiting and headache. serious sakit perut..and no one home. tried to call my mom, tried messaging people but no one respond.. being alone sometimes is frustrating. God, my body is burning.

Reward

My professional exam is just around the corner.

I'm still holding on.

But something came up.

*flatten*

No matter how great my smile looks like, there's always a problem.

I'm sick. And I need a surgery.

However, I'm obviously scared, nervous and worry.

What if I never wake up after the surgery?

Does it affects my studies?

I'm feeling a little lost, no confidence.

Is this how it feels like to be a patient?

Just wish it could vanish or disappear.

I'm a dream girl, so I'm here, lying on bed, wishing for a miracle to happen.

*teary, frighten eyes*

a night feeling...............of..................

Dear Diary,

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Sometimes, being single is nothing special. I know my motto is 'Single, Hot, Happy'. But tonight well, I feel empty. The thing with me is that I can't sit in a room with no one else but myself. Well, since everyone was out for a date, I kinda felt jealous. This seriously can lead me to depression okay! I hate being alone in a room. My thought just when crazy! So, I end up feeling lonely, eating twisties, reading CPG on Major Depression Disorder and starring at this hilariously stuck-up internet. I eat twisties on SATURDAY night for God sake! Luckily I'm not watching Oprah!

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So, I got hungry. Waiting for my roomate for dinner was a big mistake! I can end up having gastric attacks! So, I when to the nearest Mamak store. Soooooo many man everywhere [well of course, its World Club Ghana-vs-Australia], what do you expect? I miss my brothers. They would be home watching World club right now while munching my homemade chocolate chip cookies that I left a week ago.

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I hate to be alone because I start thinking about my past history. God, I miss him. But that's it. Not that I expected him to come back. Seriously?? He won't do that and I know it. Trying hard to not-think-about-past-boyfriend, I end up texting everyone for a date. That's a very desperate thing to do! Yup, I'm ashamed of myself. But, texting doesn't mean I meant it to happen. Not right now. Not when I'm still strugling with my own insecurity. I had a feeling that somehow I should stop talking nonsense, right Diary? Okay, I'm sorry. I shouldn't bring up this matter back.

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Anyway, after dinner I bought ice cream to cool me down. Haha~ It does work a little. Sometimes. I think. Owh Diary, make me stop waiting please. Hopefully my Damon Salvatore will be here soon. Hurry up and find me! I won't be looking for you. [is this a warning??] That's all for now Diary. I better continue my study [which stuck half way since 10 hours ago]. Chow!

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Owh and yes, :)